Middle Path Finance

The subtle beauty of the cheap Valentine's Day date

I really look forward to Valentine's Day. Yet, I would be horrified if hubby marked the day with roses or diamonds. This year, he knows he'll be in trouble if the day ends with any kind of chocolate other than that in the mushy pudding cake at the Ponderosa Steakhouse buffet.

By now, you must think I am crazy, and I am when it comes to this holiday. Seven years ago, on our first Valentine's Day, we decided we would always mark the occasion at a cheap restaurant. Something not dressy, not fancy, and where the average entree (nee, buffet) cost no more than $10.

So far, we've eaten at Shoney's (twice), Golden Corral,the Chinese buffet, the sushi buffet, and White Castle.

This year, we are going to Ponderosa. And not just any Ponderosa. THE Ponderosa, where I had my first job as a food bar attendant and waitress at age 16. This job was a doozie.

You haven't lived until you've watched hungry churchgoers during Sunday rush fight over the last chicken drummy. You really haven't.

At this point you are probably scratching your head and wondering why we insist on cheap Valentine's dates.

Simple. There is real joy in cheaping out on Valentine's Day. Real joy in spending $20 for dinner for two, sans flowers, on a made-up greeting card holiday that has so much pull that millions of teenagers, wives, and girlfriends are devastated if they don't get at least a dozen roses.

I say yes, mark the day. But like Christmas, remember the true meaning of Valentine's Day: To spend time with the one you love.

My theory is that all those people who yearn for flowers, for fancy dinners and diamonds aren't really after those things at all. All anyone really wants is to know the person they spend every day with, good times and bad, through honeymoons and arguments about dirty dishes and dirty diapers, still cares about them, still wants to spend time with them, and still notices them. If you choose to celebrate, it's a good excuse to spend one whole day recommitting to your honey. It's important for you to know and for your significant other to know that you would choose them all over again, if you had the chance. (If you wouldn't that might be a wake up call..)

You can have all of that at a cheap restaurant. It doesn't have to be at a cheap restaurant, of course, but that's the way we like to do it.

"It's always laid back and funny. There's never risk of unfulfilled expectations because you always know what you are going to get," hubby said of our yearly cheap date.

True. Because we laid the groundwork early in our relationship, we have never had one disappointing Valentine's Day. Okay, except one, and that was the first time we tried to go to the Ponderosa to celebrate. They were closed due to a water main break. That was the year we ate at White Castle, and we weren't the only ones on dates there either.

Instead of secret hopes being dashed, or a day of spendy trinkets, Valentine's has turned into a game for us.

We choose the location of our cheap date months in advance. Sometimes a year in advance, and since it's someplace we never go, there is anticipation and excitement surrounding it. It's a new experience for us, even if it's cheap.We talk about our date for months, giggling excitedly and anticipating what it will be like.

And when the day arrives, we are never disappointed. Maybe it's time you, too, made the cheap Valentine's Date a family tradition.

A personal energy plan for the new year

This year, I wanted to do something a little different with the New Year's plan. I set the typical goals:
Put money in the savings account, fund the Bean's 529 plan. Pay down $3,600 on the student loan. Lose that 10 pounds of baby weight that is holding on to my belly for dear life.

But I wanted to do more. Something sufficiently green to try to get our day to day life more in line with our values. After some thought, we decided to generate a list of earth-friendly resolutions as well. Or rather, an earth-friendly plan.

1. Reduce our electricity usage by 10 to 20 percent by the end of the year.
The next electric bill we receive will set the benchmark we will use to gauge our progress. It lists our month-to-month usage for the past year.

Hubby and I both would like to put solar panels on our house, but frankly, our electric bill is enough to make your jaw drop. That's not particularly conducive to solar panels. The first thing the installer will tell you is "Conserve." It saves you money on your solar installation because you'll need a smaller system to cover your needs, and it's much cheaper and easier to save energy than it is to generate it.It'll also save us money on our bill, and considering our utility plans to raise rates 45 percent in the next three years, why not start now?

The question now becomes how do we reduce our usage? We have developed a short plan, that I am sure we will have to add to later.

• Insulate the garage door. We have an electric heat-pump furnace (a geothermal system, so it's the most eco-friendly you can get, but it still burns a lot of electrity.). It runs constantly in the winter, in part, because the garage chills our kitchen to the bone. We have only a hollow-core door standing between the kitchen and the freezing garage. Step one is to replace that door with a solid door, and step two is to insulate the garage. It should cost us about $200 to $300 to do this, and will increase our comfort in summer and winter.
• Replace three windows with Energy Star windows. Last winter, we replaced most of our single-pane aluminum windows with Energy Star replacement windows. But, being finance geeks, we only do what we can afford to pay cash for, and we couldn't afford to do all of them. We chose three windows that had the least impact on our energy bills, and decided to wait on those. This is the year to finally replace those three windows. We have put in the order, and it is going to cost us $1,644 to have those windows made and installed.
• Invest in a Kill-a-Watt and use it to find out what our biggest energy drains are, and address those.
• Tackle vampire electricity. The energy your appliances and electronics suck on when they are supposedly turned off is probably adding a huge sum to our energy bill. We have a lot of electronics, so the plan is to hook them all to power strips and shut the power strips off when we aren't using the electronics in question. This will probably seem like a hassle until we get in the groove.
• Replace our washer with an Energy Star, front-loading washing machine. When we bought this house, we were living out of a storage space and recovering from Hurricane Katrina. Our house didn't come with any appliances, so we had to buy all of the big-ticket items at once: fridge, washer, dryer, etc. I admit I probably didn't buy the most efficient on the market, because I had to keep an eye on the price tag. Now that we are settled, I want to replace our washer with a more efficient version (a la scratch and dent to save money).
• Add laundry lines to the basement and the backyard. Dryers eat up a lot of energy. They don't even have Energy Star dryers. Hubby loves to line dry. Me, not so much. I guess I hate having crunchy towels and underwear. Call me old fashioned.But I do recognize that dryer use adds up, and to encourage line-drying I need to make it easy and ample. As an added bonus, every time we line dry I will add 25 cents to the vacation fund.
• Switch from compact flourescent to LED lights. This may not be practical in every lamp and socket, but one by one I'd like to change out the bulbs that make sense. It may also be a slow project, as LED bulbs are very expensive. There comes a time when we can even do better than compact flourescent bulbs. They are a great technology but if you want to go greener, you've gotta move to LEDs.
• Pay for an energy audit. I'm sure we've missed something. We may be able to insulate or plug up leaks and do even better. 

We also have some other green goals for the year. 

• Produce 100 pounds of veggies and fruit. I want to grow a lot of organic, lovely veggies at home this year. We enjoy eating out of the garden and it'll be good for the Bean to see where food comes from. I'd like to plant dwarf sweet cherry or apple trees for future fruit production, but I'm not sure where to put them. I want to  build planter boxes for the front porch, which will be used for a kitchen herb garden. My goals is also to preserve or freeze everything we grow this year. No waste. This will mean I have to learn some new skills, but it should be interesting.
• Plant a row for the hungry. I will plant extra veggies and donate it to the Mid-Ohio Food Bank. I also hope to get my neighbors involved, by asking everyone in my neighborhood to drop off excess produce at my house twice a week, and I will then drive it to the food bank. I don't know if they will be willing, but it can't hurt to ask.
  
• Add three more rain barrels. If I can find food-grade barrels at low cost, I will attempt to make these myself. If not, I will buy them. Water rates are rising 10 percent next year, which is added incentive
• Make a second composter. One composter isn't enough. We have had to throw away compostable material while we have waited for our current batch to finish. I'm not sure if we did something wrong, but hey, it was our first try.
• 
• Foster habitats for native species. The only way I know to do this is a butterfly garden, and making a bat box. I will search the OSU extension office Web site for more tips.
• Further reduce plastic bag use. We need to be super vigilant and remember to take reusable bags with us everywhere. This may mean acquiring many more reusable bags and stashing them everywhere, so no matter where we are, we have a bag. My favorite so far are the DIMPA bags from IKEA. They are strong, cheap, pretty and hold TONS of stuff.
• Reduce the amount of garbage we produce. Can we do better? Probably. This means thinking more about packaging, about reusing before we recycle, buying in bulk, etc.The composter will help with this, but it's not the only solution.
  

Do you have any eco-goals for 2009?

The difference between a New Year's resolution and a plan

Half of adult Americans make New Year's resolutions every year. Most meet a dismal fate. About 29 percent of those resolutions are kaput by Mid-January, 36 percent of resolutions have gone out the window by February 1, and 54 percent are gone and forgotten by July.

Why are so many of us, despite our good intentions, doomed to fail?

Because there is a difference between a New Year's resolution and a plan. A resolution is a grand, vague idea. It's a starting point, a jumping off point. It's merely the idea of where we'd like to be next year. It's not a plan, and that's why we fail.

Once a resolution is made, you have to develop the step-by-step plan that will make it happen. Big dreams are great because they give us a destination, but it's the tiny mundane everyday actions we take that make those big ideas happen. You have to break down the resolution into small, doable steps.

OK, so none of this is scientific. I'm basing this purely on my own failed attempts at New Year- New Me changes. Last year, 2008, was the first year in 33 years that I was able to meet and exceed the resolutions I set for myself. 

The only thing that made last year different was that I had a plan. Sure, I thought the big thoughts. That's what resolutions are-- big goals. And there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is that most people stop with the big thoughts and don't  put any thought into the little steps they  need to take to make those big goals happen. 

Last year, I put the small steps in action, and I met all of my goals. I saved money, I paid off debt. It was great, and I am going to apply the same process to a new set of goals this year.

Let's use a common goal-- save money- as an example. Yes, we all want to save money. But if that's your goal, you are going to be sorely disappointed come New Year's Eve 2010. You're setting yourself up to fail because you are being too vague.

How can you make this an attainable goal? Get more specific. Instead of "I want to save money", the goal should read something like "I want to save $1,000," or "I want to pay off $2,000 in credit card debt."

Turning your goal from vague to concrete is very important.  It gives you something measurable to shoot for. (This works for the second-most common resolution as well: lose weight. You will be more motivated if the goal is "lose 10 pounds.")

For the "I want to save $1,000" goal, the plan might be "I will put $83 a month or $42 a paycheck into my savings account." Voila, you'll have $1,000 saved by the end of the year.

Or, to pay off the credit card, "I will add $167 a month to the payment I send to the bank and I won't charge anything else on the card." Voila. Goal met.

If you want to slim down, and who doesn't, saying "I want to lose a pound a month" seems more doable that "I want to lose 10 pounds."

Making concrete goals, and then breaking it into small, doable tasks, is key to getting where you want to be.It gives you a roadmap, and it makes your big goals not seem so big that they are overwhelming.

Next, don't give yourself a laundry list of 10 resolutions. Prioritize. What will be the most valuable to you in the coming year? What goal will give you the most benefit? Pick two, maybe three, resolutions at the most and go at them wholeheartedly.

Several University of Washington researchers studying resolutions found that the keys to keeping resolutions were dedication and keeping track of your progress.

Dedication. This means you can't just make random resolutions at 11:59 Dec. 31 after you've had a few drinks and are feeling sorry for yourself. No no. Think- hard- about your resolutions now. They'll be more meaningful. It has to be something you really want. Really.

And yes, keep track of your progress. Be cheesy. Set up a wall chart and graph your weight loss, your savings, or your debt pay off. It can be as silly as those thermometer charts charities use to show people how close they are to their fundraising goal, or it can be as serious as an Excel spreadsheet. Do what works for you, but whatever you do, keep track.

If you blog, keeping track of your goals in the very public eye can be a great motivator. Check out some of the blogs on SavingAdvice.com. Those folks bare all- debt, savings, etc. and it helps them stay accountable for their financial actions. 

Do the same. Get a pal and become resolution buddies. Or send crazy monthly emails to your family outlining your success and failures at your goals. Whatever. Just do something. Stay accountable, keep the resolution in the front of your mind, and you are bound to get somewhere.

Can a resolution really work? Yes, doubting Thomas. 

I am proof.

This year, the hubby and I are going on a real overseas vacation. This is the culmination of last year's resolution to make saving for travel a priority. Last year, I put the money in the bank (a little at a time) and I finally have enough to pay for most of an overseas adventure. This year we are going to spend it in another country while hopefully working on our tans. 

Last year, I started a $20 challenge.The results were spectacular. I set a goal to put $1,000 into the challenge, and so far, I've got about $1,958 in the fund, all from making a few simple changes.

If you still need more guidance and inspiration, these books can give you food for thought as you set your goals and develop your plan.

The Automatic Millionaire. This will help you set and meet realistic financial goals. The premise is simple, "Pay yourself first." This book will show you how.

A Bankrate.com column on resolutions.

A business perspective on resolutions and the troubles ahead in 2009, from BizJournals.

The typical laundry list of resolutions, from YoungMoney.com.

Finally, if you really want to keep a resolution, throw in some carrot. It can't be all stick all the time. Treat yourself when you meet certain milestones on the way to your goal. Say, take yourself out to dinner when you reach 50 percent of your savings goal. Or, buy yourself something you've had your eye on once you've paid off 50 percent of your debt. (Be reasonable, you don't want to get more debt while trying to get out of it.)

Is it possible to have a non-consumer Christmas?

This time of year the Internet lights up with lists. Thousands of them. How to spend less on gifts. How to save money by making gifts. How to stop giving gifts and get back into the spirit of the holidays. How to re-gift. It's the same every year.

It seems many of us feel the holidays are too consumer-oriented, and yet everyone feels powerless to stop it. We are left scratching our heads wondering if it's even possible to have a non-consumer Christmas. It seems as though our desire to be non-materialistic, and to not wreck our bank accounts is diametrically opposed to our deep desire to give.

I suppose it depends on how we define a non-consumer Christmas. Not buying tchotchkes at the store? or not giving gifts?  I am leaning toward the not-from-the-store meaning of a non-consumer holiday. Not giving gifts at all is simply not realistic. We, as humans, have a deep desire to do something nice and thoughtful for our friends and families. We want to give and to show that we care, and that's why flat-out no gift policies usually fall flat.

So how does one balance the deep desire to give with the practical goal of not going broke or into debt, and not being a mindless consumer? There is no easy answer, and no one answer for everyone.

I have compiled some food for thought from around the Web on this topic. 

• The Center for a New American Dream has released their annual holiday booklet of tips and ideas for a less consumer-oriented holiday.They suggest giving the gift of time, experiences instead of items, charitable options, as well as alternative gift fairs-- such as giving a solar cooker to an Ethiopian farmer instead of a Transformer to a kid with tons of toys. 
• Bankrate.com has offered this list of recession-proof gift ideas. They suggests gifts based on sore-spots in consumer budgets. For instance, if your friend has had to give up her Starbucks latte to save money, you could buy her a bag of gourmet coffee beans. If your friends have killer commutes, you could buy them a tire pressure gauge (proper tire pressure=better gas mileage.) They also suggest experience gifts such as movie passes.
• Get Rich Slowly has generated a handy list of 34 homemade gifts that people will actually like to receive, such as homemade gourmet truffles and almond roca, making custom games (how fun), and using your skills to whip up something good. Before you decide on an all-craft Christmas, don't forget to read my handy primer on homemade gift-giving, the right way. 
• ThriftyFun.com has some easy and nice gift ideas for gardeners on your list, including a teacup birdfeeder made from thrift store finds.
• This site has a bevy of recipes for food gifts you can make such as cappuccino chocolate chunk muffins, Indian squaw bread, and Russian teacake cookies.
• If you are crafty and green, you can always make new gifts from recycled materials. The state of Pennsylvania posted ideas on making recycled ornaments. Craftbits put together instructions on making a recycled wreath from plastic bags.

Yes, I know. I produced yet another holidays list.

But, I hope you, like me, found a little inspiration in some of the ideas these wonderful Web sites and blogs have put forth. Baking, transforming recycled goods or second-hands items into appropriate, thoughtful gifts is a non-consumer way to show affection and show that your thoughts are with someone this holiday season.

If you  aren't particularly crafty or culinary and must buy something from a store, make it count. Make it something that truly reflects the desires and passions of the receiver. Even a small well-considered gift is better than something expensive but useless to the receiver.

If you can't think of anything that fits that bill, you probably don't need to have that person on your list. (In-laws are the exception, but if this is the case, your spouse or significant other should handle buying for his/her own family.) Or, they just have what they need and don't need another item. In this case, give an experience: Movie passes or DVD rentals, spa certificates, etc. would do well in that case. (Caveat: Don't ever give a gym membership. Even if someone knows they are fat, they don't want to hear it from you.)

This year, we are trying to be more deliberate and thoughtful in our gift-giving. There will be a lot of loaves of fresh homemade bread, pies, and boxes of cookies traveling from our kitchen to under someone else's tree. I have also been picking up fun second-hand items(in good condition) for my friends and family, at thrift stores and yard sales all year long.

For those whom baked goods aren't appropriate, I have tried to really think about what one or two things each of my loved ones would really appreciate as a gift. No more just randomly trying to get something, anything, for everyone. We're trying not to go overboard.

Holidays are never going to be conmpletely store free. And reigning in overly gift-loving relatives is next to impossible, too. All you can change is what you do each holiday. Use your internal compass to guide you to a more fulfilling holiday. Give gifts that are in line with your values. And instead of running to the store, put your thinking cap on, your baking apron on, and let whatever your great talents are lead you to the perfect gifts.

Homemade gifts the right way: a Christmas primer

The No. 1 overused piece of advice on how to save money on gifts is to "make it yourself."
I say, to the majority of these newly-minted holiday crafters, keep your crafts to yourself.

I know, it sounds harsh. But I, and my mother the 4th grade teacher, have been subjected to many a well-meaning and poorly-executed money-saving craft gift over the year. If you are thinking about crafting your way through the holidays, please read this first.

Rule 1: You are only qualified to give homemade items as gifts if you have a true talent. If you have a true talent then please, craft away. If it's a craft or skill you use all year long, and you have a lot of experience, go for it. If you are attempting something you have never tried before and aren't sure how it will turn out, just walk away. For instance, if you have an art degree and your friend loves your art, make them some.If you make jewelry and regularly sell it or get compliments when you where your original designs, them make some for your friends. If not, see rule 2.

Rule 2: Food gifts are always best. My mother-in-law make awesome apple butter and blueberry jam. Jars of those are always welcome in my house. In fact, I'd prefer them to another pair of old-man-style insulated slippers. Cookies in a jar? Those are good too, and they are easy to make even if you don't have a lot of skill. If you make pretty good cupcakes or pies, give those as gifts. Everybody loves a treat, especially around Christmas when it's easy to rationalize overeating.And it's easy to dress these items up in fun packaging to make them seem fancier.

Rule 3: No one needs another knick knack. If you are going to make something, please make it useful. No one needs another whatzit to gather dust on their mantle or shelf. No one needs another knick knack. Think of your loved one. Even if they hate what you make, they will feel guilted into displaying it whenever you come over. Don't do it. If your talent is turning old socks into adorable snowmen, great, but be really really sure your recipient loves old-sock snowmen.

Rule 4: Don't fool yourself into thinking crafts are always cheaper. You have to buy supplies and use up valuable time. If you aren't an expert, it may be cheaper and less-stressful to just search out a low cost, but meaningful something for that special someone.

Rule 5: Even if you have a lot of skill, if your gift doesn't match the lifestyle and taste of the recipient, it's not a great gift. Your No. 1 goal should be to make sure whatever you give is really good and useful to those who receive it. Don't have a Christmas Story moment, where poor Ralphie looks like a deranged Easter bunny in his pink bunny jammies. If your nephew loves Mid-century modern, that Victorian frilly lace throw pillow, no matter how well-made, isn't going to cut it.

Rule 6: If you want something one of a kind and don't have the skill, you can always buy a quality homemade item-- made by someone else. Craft fairs are not just for old ladies. There are hipster craft fairs all over the country. And there is alwasy Etsy. You may get something completely original for much less than something mass produced from the Walmart.*