Middle Path Finance

Is it possible to have a non-consumer Christmas?

This time of year the Internet lights up with lists. Thousands of them. How to spend less on gifts. How to save money by making gifts. How to stop giving gifts and get back into the spirit of the holidays. How to re-gift. It's the same every year.

It seems many of us feel the holidays are too consumer-oriented, and yet everyone feels powerless to stop it. We are left scratching our heads wondering if it's even possible to have a non-consumer Christmas. It seems as though our desire to be non-materialistic, and to not wreck our bank accounts is diametrically opposed to our deep desire to give.

I suppose it depends on how we define a non-consumer Christmas. Not buying tchotchkes at the store? or not giving gifts?  I am leaning toward the not-from-the-store meaning of a non-consumer holiday. Not giving gifts at all is simply not realistic. We, as humans, have a deep desire to do something nice and thoughtful for our friends and families. We want to give and to show that we care, and that's why flat-out no gift policies usually fall flat.

So how does one balance the deep desire to give with the practical goal of not going broke or into debt, and not being a mindless consumer? There is no easy answer, and no one answer for everyone.

I have compiled some food for thought from around the Web on this topic. 

• The Center for a New American Dream has released their annual holiday booklet of tips and ideas for a less consumer-oriented holiday.They suggest giving the gift of time, experiences instead of items, charitable options, as well as alternative gift fairs-- such as giving a solar cooker to an Ethiopian farmer instead of a Transformer to a kid with tons of toys. 
• Bankrate.com has offered this list of recession-proof gift ideas. They suggests gifts based on sore-spots in consumer budgets. For instance, if your friend has had to give up her Starbucks latte to save money, you could buy her a bag of gourmet coffee beans. If your friends have killer commutes, you could buy them a tire pressure gauge (proper tire pressure=better gas mileage.) They also suggest experience gifts such as movie passes.
• Get Rich Slowly has generated a handy list of 34 homemade gifts that people will actually like to receive, such as homemade gourmet truffles and almond roca, making custom games (how fun), and using your skills to whip up something good. Before you decide on an all-craft Christmas, don't forget to read my handy primer on homemade gift-giving, the right way. 
• ThriftyFun.com has some easy and nice gift ideas for gardeners on your list, including a teacup birdfeeder made from thrift store finds.
• This site has a bevy of recipes for food gifts you can make such as cappuccino chocolate chunk muffins, Indian squaw bread, and Russian teacake cookies.
• If you are crafty and green, you can always make new gifts from recycled materials. The state of Pennsylvania posted ideas on making recycled ornaments. Craftbits put together instructions on making a recycled wreath from plastic bags.

Yes, I know. I produced yet another holidays list.

But, I hope you, like me, found a little inspiration in some of the ideas these wonderful Web sites and blogs have put forth. Baking, transforming recycled goods or second-hands items into appropriate, thoughtful gifts is a non-consumer way to show affection and show that your thoughts are with someone this holiday season.

If you  aren't particularly crafty or culinary and must buy something from a store, make it count. Make it something that truly reflects the desires and passions of the receiver. Even a small well-considered gift is better than something expensive but useless to the receiver.

If you can't think of anything that fits that bill, you probably don't need to have that person on your list. (In-laws are the exception, but if this is the case, your spouse or significant other should handle buying for his/her own family.) Or, they just have what they need and don't need another item. In this case, give an experience: Movie passes or DVD rentals, spa certificates, etc. would do well in that case. (Caveat: Don't ever give a gym membership. Even if someone knows they are fat, they don't want to hear it from you.)

This year, we are trying to be more deliberate and thoughtful in our gift-giving. There will be a lot of loaves of fresh homemade bread, pies, and boxes of cookies traveling from our kitchen to under someone else's tree. I have also been picking up fun second-hand items(in good condition) for my friends and family, at thrift stores and yard sales all year long.

For those whom baked goods aren't appropriate, I have tried to really think about what one or two things each of my loved ones would really appreciate as a gift. No more just randomly trying to get something, anything, for everyone. We're trying not to go overboard.

Holidays are never going to be conmpletely store free. And reigning in overly gift-loving relatives is next to impossible, too. All you can change is what you do each holiday. Use your internal compass to guide you to a more fulfilling holiday. Give gifts that are in line with your values. And instead of running to the store, put your thinking cap on, your baking apron on, and let whatever your great talents are lead you to the perfect gifts.

Homemade gifts the right way: a Christmas primer

The No. 1 overused piece of advice on how to save money on gifts is to "make it yourself."
I say, to the majority of these newly-minted holiday crafters, keep your crafts to yourself.

I know, it sounds harsh. But I, and my mother the 4th grade teacher, have been subjected to many a well-meaning and poorly-executed money-saving craft gift over the year. If you are thinking about crafting your way through the holidays, please read this first.

Rule 1: You are only qualified to give homemade items as gifts if you have a true talent. If you have a true talent then please, craft away. If it's a craft or skill you use all year long, and you have a lot of experience, go for it. If you are attempting something you have never tried before and aren't sure how it will turn out, just walk away. For instance, if you have an art degree and your friend loves your art, make them some.If you make jewelry and regularly sell it or get compliments when you where your original designs, them make some for your friends. If not, see rule 2.

Rule 2: Food gifts are always best. My mother-in-law make awesome apple butter and blueberry jam. Jars of those are always welcome in my house. In fact, I'd prefer them to another pair of old-man-style insulated slippers. Cookies in a jar? Those are good too, and they are easy to make even if you don't have a lot of skill. If you make pretty good cupcakes or pies, give those as gifts. Everybody loves a treat, especially around Christmas when it's easy to rationalize overeating.And it's easy to dress these items up in fun packaging to make them seem fancier.

Rule 3: No one needs another knick knack. If you are going to make something, please make it useful. No one needs another whatzit to gather dust on their mantle or shelf. No one needs another knick knack. Think of your loved one. Even if they hate what you make, they will feel guilted into displaying it whenever you come over. Don't do it. If your talent is turning old socks into adorable snowmen, great, but be really really sure your recipient loves old-sock snowmen.

Rule 4: Don't fool yourself into thinking crafts are always cheaper. You have to buy supplies and use up valuable time. If you aren't an expert, it may be cheaper and less-stressful to just search out a low cost, but meaningful something for that special someone.

Rule 5: Even if you have a lot of skill, if your gift doesn't match the lifestyle and taste of the recipient, it's not a great gift. Your No. 1 goal should be to make sure whatever you give is really good and useful to those who receive it. Don't have a Christmas Story moment, where poor Ralphie looks like a deranged Easter bunny in his pink bunny jammies. If your nephew loves Mid-century modern, that Victorian frilly lace throw pillow, no matter how well-made, isn't going to cut it.

Rule 6: If you want something one of a kind and don't have the skill, you can always buy a quality homemade item-- made by someone else. Craft fairs are not just for old ladies. There are hipster craft fairs all over the country. And there is alwasy Etsy. You may get something completely original for much less than something mass produced from the Walmart.*